Blaidd's Thoughts

New Livejournal

2008-01-01T05:49:32Z

I know this is sudden, but I'm moving to a new livejournal to mark the beginning of 2008.

I'm reorganizing my life. I hope for the better.

I'm going to friend people in groups, starting with those whose journals I read religiously and couldn't live with out.

If you haven't been friended yet, don't freak out. It doesn't mean I don't like you anymore. It just means that I haven't gotten around to adding you.

If you would like to continue reading my journal, for whatever reasons, you can friend the new one at dewinblaidd and I will friend you back when I get the chance. If my journal bores you, don't friend the new one. It's simple. =p

Back in Wisconsin

2007-12-31T18:55:58Z

I'm back home in Milwaukee. It was a crazy morning. No delays or anything on the flights, but word must have got back to LR airport security that I have been making fun of how lax they are because I caught hell from the TSA people on three entirely unrelated occasions. The first woman at the security checkpoint looked at me like I was the devil and spent several minutes scrutinizing my ID. Then there was an issue with a quarter I didn't know was in my pocket. And finally, they searched one of my bags and did a really crappy job of putting the stuff back in. Luckily the bag they searched had some sweaters, my wolf pillows Debbie made for my birthday, a stuffed cat, and random christmas presents. They didn't search the bag full of books on witchcraft and gay porn. Being in Arkansas I probably would have been hung for that.

I got Chinese food. I'm going to take a nap and then go to Pick n Save for a few groceries and some mixers. It's New Years ya know. =p

EDIT: I'm going to sleep and then I'll respond to the mass pile of email that accumulated while I was gone.

UPDATE: I said I was going to wake up around 5:00 and I woke up exactly without setting the alarm clock =p. I feel like a pile of crap. I'm going to Pick n Save then I'm going to shower and try to wake up.

Saturday

2007-12-30T16:59:40Z

Last night started out bad, but it became AWESOME. They moved the UPS store on me and I couldn't find where it had moved to so I missed getting my boxes shipped. I went to the AT&T store to get my new cellphone since the girl in Wisconsin (after an hour on the phone with customer service) told me that I had to get it in Arkansas. Well, the poor sales guy tried really hard. I sat there being bored while he was on hold for OVER TWO HOURS. And finally they gave me some more hoops to jump through and told me that I HAVE to get a new number no matter what. So I will be getting a new phone number, but I WON'T be getting it from AT&T I promise you. If you go through my LJ Archives you'll find rants about Cingular and SBC. The merger hasn't helped matters. They're like the Microsoft of phone companies. I'm trying to give them business on the order of $1300 and they don't have their shit together well enough to help me. This makes a grand total of 4+ hours that I have sat in cingular stores while the reps talk to customer service and all I want is a NEW PHONE. They are in the business of selling phones. I want a phone. I'm not seeing the issue here. So yeah.

I got to Ami's late. We went out for a bit and ended up in CiCi's pizza where Felts' roommate Cassie works. Ami & I had both met her a couple times, but she was really friendly, insisted on buying our dinner, and then came over and sat down with us after she was off the clock. We had a great chat. We stayed there until around 10:00 PM and then we invited her to come to Hastings with us so off we went.

So it was me and two lesbians in the occult section of Hastings in RussVegas (which is strangely larger than the occult section in the Brookfield Barnes and Noble and peculiarly stocked with ceremonial-themed books rather than the usual Wicca 101 stuff you would expect to find in a college town.) Ami wanted me to glance at a few books and tell her if they were okay to read. I told her most books are okay to read if you're smart enough to sift through the crap about fluffy pink unicorns. ~_^ I looked at the book she wanted and deemed it suitable. I think we had at least a brief discussion about every book there. Given the subject matter of most of them, I gave her some pointers on how to tell the neo-pagan books from the magician's light bedtime reading collection. They had a annotated copy of the Complete Works of Henry Cornelius Agrippa that I wanted, but it was prohibitively priced for something I can (and have) read online for free. And the binding was really cheap plastic.

Which brings me to my next subject. Someone should produce a line of occult classics with NICE leather bindings. In dark colors with gold and silver leaf. Rich eccentric magicians would be all over that shit. Half of magick is atmosphere. Pretty old looking leather book or cheap plastic book? Come on.

Anyway, I totally racked up at Hastings. I spent my entertainment budget for this week. ^^

I took the Thoth Tarot down to show Ami and somehow it didn't go back on the shelf. I had no intention of buying it, but it was in my hand when I got to the checkout counter. Gotta love that. =p

I also got Penczak's book on "High Witchcraft" (I'm not kidding RussVegas hastings totally has this theme going on) because I've been really enjoying the series so far. He manages to hide lots of meaty chunks in an easy to digest format. Most of the first two books was stuff I already know, but I love books and having information in a printed, indexed format is nice.

I found a good book on Yoga with LOTS of pictures. Yeah, I could go take classes or something but that would require me to leave my apartment and interact with people. Would totally destroy my reputation as an antisocial loner.

Finally, I found that Hastings in RussVegas has a shockingly large yaoi collection (where were these yaoi loving ceremonial types when I was in college, huh?!). I found the HOLY GRAIL OF YAOI EROTICA. They finally decided to translate the Ai no Kusabi novel into English. OH MY GOD. Hentai bondage porn for the masses. Gods I love that movie. Now I don't have to learn Japanese to read the book!! ^^

Oh yeah, I also picked up a paper copy of the Sen Porno manga. It was expensive but Sono-san is so adorably cute! Ami has never seen the anime so I have to get it to her somehow. The manga was wrapped in plastic. I guess to keep small children from looking at the pictures. Oddly, none of the others were. Come on, Sen Porno isn't that bad... there are like three pages where they're actually wearing clothes!

Also picked up a random manga I'd never heard of, but it had cute boys with swords and they were kissing. I squealed like Christina and bought it on impulse. =p

After that we dropped Cassie off at her place with hugs and luvs all around. Then I went back to Ami's and cuddled with her on the couch until like 2 AM.

This morning I was assertive and told Mom to buzz off I wasn't going to church. So instead I'm sitting here with my gay porn and my Thoth tarot. Yay for being a dirty heathen. =p

Saturday

2007-12-29T18:50:39Z

In 2008, blaiddshadow resolves to...

Pay for my gay warriors on time.
Backup my hellenism regularly.
Go hiking three times a week.
Be nicer to thornboy.
Find a better thelema.
Take evening classes in hammerfall.

Note to self. Pay for gay warriors on time. Good advice.

I talked to Ami a bit last night she decided she doesn't want to go to the club so we are going to hang out in RussVegas instead. I sorted through four giant boxes of books and came out with two reasonably sized boxes (~50lbs each) to ship to Wisconsin. The others I told Mom she could sell. And of course I rescued my small occult library. Those will be traveling with me.

I need to go pack my large suitcase so I can see if I have room to buy anything in RussVegas.

Christmas

2007-12-27T22:30:09Z

For me Christmas started on Monday with the party at Gerald's ex-wife's house. Jeanette and Erika had an argument about whether my hair looked good or not. I think the word they finally agreed on was distinguished. I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean.

I was right about the rotten little kids. I hate kids. A lot. They got a crapastically huge pile of toys. I'm not being grinchy when I say it was WAY too much. The piles were bigger than the kids and they were being real brats, throwing the things they didn't like and screaming about it.

Erika got me a nice sweater. I was happy.

Christmas at Mom's wasn't real exciting. She already had the present I gave her. =( I got some more nice clothes. My favorite gift was a full color illustrated Firefly book. It's really shiny.

Dad's side of the family wasn't so bad. I spent more time talking to Alan the artist and David the businessman than I did to the aunts this year. The uncles of course didn't hang around much, they sat outside and talked about the deer they were going to kill yesterday and the price of corn. I got another nice shirt up there. Alan used the word distinguished to refer to my hair, which I thought was weird. He always talks about my hair. At least this time he had a reason. lol.

Um. Yesterday sucked. It started snowing at noon. Yes. Snowing. You know how Arkansas only gets 1 inch of snow a year. Well we got 3 inches yesterday. I got stranded an extra night in the mountains with Dad who got off on this kick about Mom until I wanted to risk the icy mountain roads.

This morning I got up and he wanted to talk about relationships. I guess he laid awake thinking about it all night or something, but he kept going on and on about all these college-age girls Sandy knows and how all they ever think about is sex and they're all whores blah blah blah

I finally escaped. Suzy came over, but Mom sat in the living room until Jay came and then Jay wanted to talk so I felt like Suzy was bored. She left early. Hopefully I will see her again before I leave and we can talk about boys or something.

I feel kinda sick at my stomach. Maybe ate too much.

Arkansas

2007-12-24T16:25:23Z

I made it home. I managed not to jump on the computer until this morning. =p

Jay came by last night. We had much fun. I need to start bringing a notebook and writing down all the things that get said in our conversations. We fixed a couple MAJOR issues with the Sentroga continuity. Basically Dendrick and Kataro where in a couple different places hundreds of miles away at the same time or within days of one another. We hashed that out last night.

Also talked about all the gossip I've missed out on by being gone.

Uncle Muff is here. We're working on secretly spiking the eggnog. =p

We are about to load up and go to Gerald's ex-wife's house for Christmas with the girls. I <3 Jeanette. I'd rather not be around all the little kids that are going to be there though. I hate kids.

Oh yeah, Mom didn't say a word about my hair. Actually, she didn't recognize me in the airport. I walked right by her and she didn't notice. Then when she finally found me she was like "Oh, I should have asked you what color shirt you were wearing!" and I was like "MOTHER! I lived with you for 22 years, you shouldn't have to recognize me by my shirt!" Haha.

Well, we walked outside and Gerald goes, "OH MY GOD HE TURNED INTO A HIPPIE!"

So much for that. Haha.

Oh yeah, last night at dinner Grandmother said, "So you still wear jeans?" and Mom goes, "Of course he still wears jeans." and then she looks at me and goes "Unless he's started wearing dresses."

LOL.

Then, later Gerald and Muff were talking about football and Grandma thought they said I was joining the Dallas Cowboys, then Mom goes, "Yeah maybe as a cheerleader."

Gosh. The Personal attacks. =p

She also said she didn't care if I wore my hair long but I needed to get it cut into a more manly shape.

Quote of the Day

2007-12-23T05:22:54Z

I wasn't going to post again before my trip, but I just watched this and I had to share because it was hilarious:

Dan Abrams vs Robert Knight on whether JK Rowling is Part of the Homosexual Agenda.

My favorite quote:

The 100% male heterosexual Robert Knight from Concerned Women for America says something along the lines of "What happens when little boys who are questioning see this and they think well, I should try it. Since [Dumbledore] is gay is must be alright!" and the reporter says, "Well, at least they won't be getting abortions!"

I love it.

Stop abortions! Promote gay rights!

I'm going to bed. I don't know if I'll update over Christmas. Got a plane to catch in the AM.

Open Letter to ex-Governor Huckabee

2007-12-22T21:50:51Z

Dear Huck,

I may not have a constitutionally protected right to sodomy, but I do have one to call you a fucktard as loudly and as often as I want. And not because you think I ought to be incarcerated for sleeping with men. That's your opinion, fine. You're entitled to your opinion, but....

DUDE, you just flip flopped for ANN COULTER!!!!! ANN COULTER! If you're going to throw the meager shreds of your serial rapist pardoning (because they found Jesus!) credibility out the window at least do it for someone who matters. Man, even the conservatives don't listen to Ann Coulter anymore. She's just a frothing hate-filled evil bitch who sits out there spewing more malicious crap than the severed artery of a Golgotha demon.

If you seriously listen to anything Ann Coulter says, much less let it sway your opinion on issues, then you do not deserve to be President of the United States and you have no room to talk about me being less than a real man. REAL MEN believe in things. They have opinions. And they're willing to take crap from so-called 'journalists' without changing their mind. Oh no the base might not like you. Boo freaking hoo. Cry me a river.

The political arena is not a circus. If it was we could turn some lions loose and end a whole lot of the country's problems.

Get thee back to your double-wide and let the big boys play at politics.

Have a nice day,

A Gay Pagan from Arkansas

If you're wondering what set that off....

Apparently back in 2003, a caller on "Ask the Governor" (a really dumb Arkansas radio show) asked Huck for his opinion on Lawrence vs Texas. That's a dumb question. He's a Baptist minister, what do you think his opinion is? Well, Huckabee had never heard of it, but he stated "[the Supreme Court] is probably right."

Well, along comes Ann Coulter who blasts Huck (A Southern Baptist minister, Republican, pro-life candidate who advocates putting AIDs patients in concentration camps!) for being too liberal. At the same time she also spews completely unhinged nonsense about evolution, Catholics, sorcerers, global warming, gays, the reading comprehension skills of liberals, the ACLU and finally compares having gay sex in your own home to operating a meth lab all the while whining about the evil liberal media not giving her enough attention. You can see the full article here: Ann Coulter is Freaking Nuts. It's good for a laugh, although loading all the flash stuff on the page might lag your computer out for a couple minutes.

Anyway, Huck immediately responds with this:

"After reading the decision I believe it is obvious that the ruling was wrongly decided. Lawrence v. Texas is an extreme example of judicial activism. It could, in fact, be inappropriately used to attack our marriage laws nationwide."

I should probably read the ruling myself, but I fail to see how:

"Gay people shouldn't be arrested for having sex in their own homes"

translates into

"We should let gays get married."

I've been saying for a couple weeks now that state's rights is all well and good, but if you take the federal government out of the picture and let the Southern states do whatever they want you're going to split the country in half. I've lived in the South my whole life. The south would still have slaves if the government hadn't made us stop. The South wouldn't have given women the right to vote. The south would never have desegregated schools.

Can I point you to an incident that happened in Arkansas back in 1957? Between the GOVERNOR of Arkansas and one President Eisenhower which involved THE ARKANSAS NATIONAL GUARD and the 101st Airborne Division of the US ARMY all over whether or not nine black kids could go to school?

If the federal government is removed from the picture, Arkansas, Alabama, and friends will become a theocratic fascist nightmare overnight. The people down there don't believe in Freedom. They just believe in what the nice man with the fancy white shirt tells them to believe while they're putting money into the plate.

EDIT: If you want to know why I could NEVER ~~vote for~~ be a Republican it's because people like Ann Coulter are Republicans. I don't want to be associated with them. Ever.

EDIT2: I changed my wording a little.

What's Wrong With Linux?

2007-12-22T18:15:33Z

I was asked that question the other day. It was a private question, but I'm going to address it publicly because a large chunk of my LJ friends use or have used Linux and I'm sure their opinions on this would also be relevant. I'm not going to give any details about the context because a) it was a private correspondence and b) they're irrelevant. That question says it all. What is wrong with Linux?

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with Linux. At least nothing major enough to warrant complaining about (and you all know how I love to complain). The only beef I have with my computer right now is that it downloaded a new kernel about a week ago as part of an automated update and of course it broke my Nvidia driver so now my computer won't boot up. After Christmas I'll stop being lazy and reinstall the Nvidia drivers for the new kernel. Problem fixed. My complaint is that apt really ought to warn you when it installs a new kernel and breaks all your drivers. Or better yet FSF/GNU ought to quit inciting rebellion against Nvidia and just let people PACKAGE THE DAMN DRIVER without being harassed about it. This is not libdvdcss we're talking about. It's a driver. It's not illegal. NVIDIA was gracious enough to release it. They could have just said "Ya'll are SOL" like everyone else and then we wouldn't have any 3D hardware support in Linux. So instead of lambasting them for not opening the source on their driver, why can't we just play nice? By giving NVIDIA hell over their drivers, GNU is actively discouraging any other hardware company from releasing Linux drivers and thus making our fight for desktop computing much harder than it ought to be and adding the questionable legality of reverse engineering everything.

Of course this is kindof a moot point for 2 reasons. 1) Most Linux distros don't roll out kernel updates between releases. 2) Ubuntu, Mandriva, SuSE and others do package the NVIDIA drivers so that they would be automatically updated along with the kernel. This problem is because Debian is...well...Debian. They back GNU 100% on everything. And because I'm running testing I get frequent kernel updates. Debian doesn't put kernel updates in the stable tree so far as I know. Unless it was a security patch or something, but that would be rare.

Other than that occasional annoyance my Linux desktop is perfect. I have zero complaints.

On the other end of the spectrum is my Mother. Totally computer illiterate. She runs Linux on her desktop. She also has zero problems. Less than Windows. She likes Linux BETTER than Windows, although she doesn't really understand what an Operating System is. She likes Linux because I did a bunch of customizations on XFCE to put pictures of her horses and dogs on the splash screens and things. She likes it because it doesn't lock up or crash like her Windows 98 PC did. And I like it because I don't have to worry about her getting as many viruses when she goes around clicking on things on the Internet. Also gnome-ppp drops the Internet connection less than SBC's proprietary crapware dialer did. Mom has zero complaints about Linux.

So we see that Linux is great for people on two ends of the spectrum. It's great for me because I'm glad to be rid of all the Windows bloatware and Microsoft proprietary nonsense. It's great for mom because her computer just works. Anyone who says you have to know the command line to use linux is insane. Mom wouldn't know how to find a command line if she wanted one. You DO need it to set the system up initially, but after that no. Unless your kernel updates.

This question was more specifically geared towards people in the middle of the spectrum. Here are some thoughts:

A Standard Installer like Windows the windows .msi format. Sure, .debs and .rpms are nice when you can get them. Having a giant repository of software is nice. But what if you want something that isn't in the repository? On Windows you download the .exe click. Install. Yay. I know lots of people who can only barely manage to do that, but it beats the hell out of "./configure; make -j 4; make install;" Linux needs one click GUI installs. And they need to work. Even if it just works like portage and runs gcc in the background. As long as the end user doesn't have to type make. The best Linux installer I've seen is the FreeSpace2 one. It's written in Java. The same installer works on Windows, Linux, and Macs. And on Linux it does compile the binaries on your system. We need more things like that. It would be nice if this integrated into the package manager in such a way that it could automatically download the libraries you need to run/compile the program.

Wine Integration - I would really like to see a Linux distro that did more to integrate wine or crossover directly into the OS. Like MacOS X does with their various platforms. X11 for example. Or Cocoa. It should intelligently deal with things like desktop shortcuts created by Windows Installers and should smoothly integrate the apps into the desktop. To the end user it should be difficult to tell that the app isn't running natively. I love the idea of using an emulation layer for legacy software instead of clinging to outdated APIs. Mac definitely did the right thing there. If Windows had done that in Vista it might not have been such a huge meltdown

That's really all I can think of.

I'm turning into one of those Linux devs who can't see any logical reason why normal people are unhappy with Linux. It works perfect for me. What's their problem?

How about you guys? Any thoughts? What about Linux is keeping you from switching? Or what would make your switch easier?

New Years Survey

2007-12-22T06:09:51Z

2007!
40 questions about 2007.

1) Was 2007 a good year for you?
Best year of my life so far. Lots of good stuff happened to me this year. I had Scott. I made two trips to Columbus. I got my Bachelor's Degree. I managed to be a bum and not have a job all summer. I moved to Milwaukee. (As annoyed as I get it really is good for me). I've got a great job. Safe place to live.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
Having taken all of the above into consideration my favorite moment of the year was Felts and I having that drunken DAoC LAN party at his house when our wireless keyboards were causing interference. "STOP TALKING WHILE I'M TRYING TO MOVE DAMN IT!" Yes, it's really sad that was my favorite moment. I'm way too easily entertained.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
As sappy as it sounds, probably Valentine's Day. I was excited about it because it would have been the first year I was actually in a relationship and I was expecting some nice surprise. Instead, I got dumped. I remember I was at Allison's with Casey and Ami watching some movie at midnight and I nearly started crying because he hadn't bothered to call or text or anything all freaking day. I spent several days beating myself up about what an awful person I was and how karma was a bitch (because I broke up with Carl about three days before VD). Ironically, Scott and I continued seeing each other weekly (and sometimes twice a week) until May when I told him I was moving to Ohio (and then never did). Wow that was a totally screwed up relationship.

4) Where were you when 2007 began?
I was at Jay's house. It was the night Zach beat Soul Calibur III with the Guitar Hero controller. We were miraculously not drunk.

5) Who were you with?
Jay, Zach, Kat, Suzy, and Avildar

6) Where will you be when 2007 ends?
In Milwaukee. Most likely sitting in my apartment alone drinking rum. Or I could go to a bar and drink rum. But what's the point?

7) Who will you be with when 2007 ends?
Me, Myself, and the voices in my head.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2007?
Write more - No. Procrastinate Less - No. Work Out More - No. Have Lots of Fun - Not Really. So no.

9) Do you have a new year’s resolution for 2008?
Be Yourself.

10) Did you fall in love in 2007?
Love is something that's hard to define. I love a lot of people. That doesn't necessarily mean the same thing to me that it does to, like, Suzy for example.

11) If yes, with who?
Scott. I did love him in my own way.

12) If yes, do they know?
I guess so. I never said it. I never said "I love you," because a) he would have taken it the wrong way and b) I'm scared of those words. But whenever I'd get cuddly with him he would poke fun at me about it because I wasn't behaving appropriately for someone who isn't serious about a relationship or some baloney.

13) Are you still in love with them?
Yes. No. Maybe. I'd really like to know how he is. It's difficult to get so deeply ingrained into someone's life and then suddenly get ripped out of it. But, the only time I spoke with him since I left Arkansas he asked me to come back and marry him. I said no. He hasn't spoken to me again.

14) You regret it?
No. It was a very positive experience overall. I learned a lot about myself.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2007?
No. We just sort of drifted apart.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2007?
As sad as it sounds, no not really. I'm pretty sure all of my friends were around before 2007. I've made a few casual acquaintances at work, but they're not really friends because we never talk about anything but work.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
Sean and Thomas. HEALTH MANAGEMENT FOR THE WIN!

18) What was your favorite month of 2007?
April. It was a great month. Everything was going my way. Graduation. Columbus. Scott. Sure I was stressed out, but I was excited about the future. Then I went ape shit and lost everything. Now I'm in Milwaukee instead which is far far away from my support network(s).

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2007?
I've never been outside of the US.

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2007?
Ohio, Missouri, Illinois, and Wisconsin

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2007?
Lose like died? No I don't think so.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Well let's see I displaced myself 900 miles from my home, my lover, and all my friends. No. Why would I miss anyone?

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2007?
I didn't see many good movies this year. Best theater experience definitely goes to 300 just because I was there with Garan Du. Fear the war rhinos!

24) What was your favorite song from 2007?
I don't think I've listened to the radio in 2007 so I doubt I've heard any song that came out this year. It usually takes me awhile to catch up.

25) What was your favorite record from 2007?
Ditto.
26) How many concerts did you see in 2007?
How many whats? What's a concert?

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2007?
No.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2007?
Yes. A whole lot. At the beginning of the year it was with Scott, kicking back the Bacardi. Over the summer it was with John drinking beer and playing DAoC. Since I've been in Milwaukee it's been me drinking beer by myself. With occasional bouts of hard liquor thrown in for good measure.

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2007?
No. Honest to gods. I've been completely off the firewood since January 1st, 2006 when Carl gave me this lecture about how much it would upset him if I did it and how disappointed he would be with me. Gods forbid, can't have a man disappointed in me. So I quit while I was with him and he was happy and I haven't touched it since although Tyler and Norma have both tempted me a few times.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2007?
Three.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
I've done way too much whining and bitching about nothing on my LJ. I should really cut back on that.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2007?
I can't think of anything.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2007?
Probably at one time or another I treated EVERYONE badly. At least once.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2007?
Not badly enough for me to notice.

36) How much money did you spend in 2007?
Less than I made. That's all that matters right?
37) What was your proudest moment of 2007?
GOA's 4 person High Lord raid on DAoC. Mal, Lubei, Me, and Felts. We took out a DUKE. Without a healer. Yeah. My happiest moment and my proudest moment were both virtual. That's pretty pathetic.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007?
I think it was in the leather store with Garan Du while he was trying different collars on me. It wasn't really embarrassing, but definitely blush worthy. LOL.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2007 and change something, what would it be?
I'd go back and tell myself not to be stupid and sign a lease on an apartment that doesn't allow pets. Come on. This is me we're talking about. No pets! Freaking crazy.

40) What are your plans for 2008?
To say that my life sucks less. I don't really mean it. Less mindless bitching. Less emotional hysterics. More meditating. More writing. Healthier eating. Hopefully get out more. Meet people. Make friends. That sort of thing.

Comments Thus Far

2007-12-21T04:38:55Z

In response to those pictures below:

(Jerret): You're a girl.
(Me): It's the hips.
(Jerret): You look like a lesbian.
(Jerret): What size pants do you wear, like 32?
(Me): 34. Again it's the hips.
(Jerret): You've got some child bearing hips for sure.
(Jerret): You could have a whole litter of puppies.

(Lorraine): You look like a girl.

(Mike): Get it curlier or cut different.
(Me): It's not cut at all.
(Mike): Yeah but it keeps the style of the last cut you had.
(Mike): Which totally doesn't work for you.
(Me): Hey nobody is cutting the front. I finally got that shit to mostly stay out of my face.
(Mike): You don't get the concept of a cut.
(Mike): It's not just trim here and there.
(Mike): It's cut this, layer that, brush here, straighten here, curl there.

Dude, you are so gay. =p

(Jerret): You should go emo. You could pull off the girl pants thing.

(Mike): Look into girl's jeans. Or a higher brand of mens.
(Me): Dude. These are Levis. They cost $40 a pair!
(Me): They just don't fit that well because I have hips and no crotch.

(Jerret): You're going to attract more girls than guys.
(Me): college all over again
(Jerret): Or straight guys.
(Me): What about confused bi guys?
(Jerret): Maybe.
(Me): Scott always did tell me I was the next best thing to a real girl. =p
(Jerret): Basically, yeah.
(Me): well what am I supposed to be?
(Jerret): an eunuch?
(Me): exactly
(Jerret): You'd be working for royalty if we were in ancient Mesopotamia. You're quite a catch.
(Jerret): Princesses. Queens.
(Me): Lesbian queens?
(Me): Hey I could totally be a lesbian.
(Me): It's straight girls I can't get into.
(Jerret): You're bi right.
(Me): No I'm 100% passive sexual.

Mike Made Me Do It

2007-12-21T04:00:32Z

It's been a month since those awful collar pictures (which are the most recent ones I have) when I was slobbing around the house in my MASH t-shirt with my hair being all crazy. In an attempt to photo document my life and because all my halfway decent pics are way out of date (and yes because I'm a cam whore) I took some more. Unfortunately, I am not wearing my collar in these. I know you're all so disappointed. =p

This morning when I got out of the shower, I felt like Shepperd Book. I actually think it's starting to improve. I came to that conclusion by comparing these with the ones from Thanksgiving.

Have I mentioned that lesbians dig me?

Mom is going to crap bricks. That alone makes it all worthwhile. =p

Center Ridge Bank Robber...CAUGHT!

2007-12-21T01:51:06Z

I don't remember if I posted about this, but someone robbed the bank in Center Ridge about a week ago.

You know the bank in the back of the Red Hawk Diner. It's basically a glorified ATM machine with a real life human being handing out the bills because us hicks are too poor/stupid/whatever to get a real ATM.

Well, this guy robbed the bank last week. He got away with... $1400. Yeah. $1400. That's all they had in the bank. It's Center Ridge after all.

The Conway County Sherrif's Department sent out an alert on the wire: "Suspect is a white male wearing blue jeans and a hat."

OMG! We'll TOTALLY spot that guy walking around! Blue jeans and a hat! Talk about standing out in a crowd! Why don't they just arrest everyone in the Red Hawk Diner for questioning. Or hell, the whole town.

Well, they caught him today. He was wanted on suspicion of...get this...theft of cattle panels. Yes. Cattle panels.

Oh My Gods, I am so glad I got out of that town. =p

My favorite part of the article is the part where it talks about the Conway County Sherrif's Department using the emergency response MOBILE HOME for headquarters during the search. Gawd. All those crazy stories ya'll hear about Arkansas. They're true. We really are psycho hicks like that.

Petit Jean Country Headlight - Conway County's ~~Best~~ Only Newspaper.

I like how the next story below that is AKD getting fined almost 150k by OSHA. You remember that pit of boiling acid I always bitched about having to walk over? Yeah! The downside is that AKD will make up the money by laying off three or four administrative workers. That's how it's always done.

Hm

2007-12-20T03:07:34Z

I needed a better name for my disciples than "Jesse's Mighty All Powerful Disciples" so I hit the books tonight and came up with: Bleiddiau a Hyddod. Literally translated: Wolves and Stags. It makes sense since my Book of Shadows says "The Book of Wolf and Stag" on the title page.

It has something to do with predator/prey dynamic and self-sacrifice and knowing when to fight and knowing when to submit and all that. Trust me it actually makes sense. I'll explain it again sometime. I'm sure there's something about it in the archives, but hell if I'm going to dig it out.

Now all I have to do is concoct some nonsense story about my Grandmother, initiate my own already waiting disciples, and poof just like that I created a new pagan religion.

Gosh that really was easy. I thought I needed like some credentials or something.

Haha.

Through the Gates of Hell We Make Our Way To Heaven

2007-12-19T00:17:44Z

I had a great day today. I don't know why. Everyone was bitching at me last night, telling me what a loser I was and how I was going to regret getting drunk on a work night and stuff. Man, I woke up this morning feeling AWESOME. And I still feel AWESOME. That's part of being crazy though. One day everything sucks. The next day you're invincible. I wish I could stay on the high side until this weekend. I really need to be on my toes to deal with Mom and all her crap.

Oh Gods I have to start doing some SERIOUS work on that Yule ritual. That's only like a week away and I've barely started.

Work wasn't exactly my idea of a good time. I spent the WHOLE day doing code analysis again. AI really likes redundancy in their error checking. Where I would check is x = 0 right before I divided something by x at the deepest darkest level of my code and then forget about it, they put a check down there and then more checks everywhere else. So you might have 3-4 is x = 0 checks scattered around all over the place. Also, they log every error inside the function and then they log the same error again when the function returns. Then they log it again when that function returns. Sean and I counted one place they logged THE SAME ERROR no less than five times. Crazy. And I have to document every line of code that doesn't get hit. I've got well over 100 blocks so far. And will probably be doing this for the rest of the week.

Other than that, it was alright. The day went by fast.

Walk home was good. I'm feeling predatory tonight. The moon is pretty. It's warm. (I never would have imagined I'd say 34F is warm). I really enjoyed being outside. I love the night.

Quote of the Day II

2007-12-18T03:50:13Z

(09:27:10 PM) Me: I don't even want sex I want someone to go shopping with me
(09:27:15 PM) Mike: LOL
(09:27:15 PM) Me: I need a new faghag
(09:27:29 PM) Me: I should advertise on craigs list
(09:28:46 PM) Me: Must have good fashion sense to help me pick out clothes
(09:29:00 PM) Me: Must have chronic boyfriend problems for discussion of over chocolate ice cream sundaes
(09:29:20 PM) Me: Must like friend chicken.
(09:29:55 PM) Mike: friend chicken? :P
(09:30:09 PM) Me: maybe she's in PETA
(09:30:16 PM) Mike: LOL
(09:30:41 PM) Me: maybe she has a chicken for a spirit guide
(09:30:44 PM) Me: who are you to judge?
(09:31:01 PM) Mike: Maybe she had a past life as a chicken. :P
(09:31:32 PM) Mike: -facepalm-
(09:32:04 PM) Me: WHAT CHICKENS HAVE SOULS TOO
(09:33:02 PM) Me: Oh Father, Lord of the Forest, Master of All Beasts, Bless This Thy Rhode Island Red Hen That She May Lay Many Eggs For Mine Ethical Consumption
(09:33:46 PM) Me: That Her OffSpring Which I Do Not Eat Shall Be Fruitfull And Multiply Upon All the Earth
(09:34:51 PM) Me: So That Thine Other Children The Fox and Weasel Might Not Go Hungry On This Cold & Dreadful Winter
(09:35:02 PM) Mike: Oh Jesse.
(09:35:07 PM) Mike: You're hilarious when drunk
(09:35:27 PM) Me: FATHER, lend thy might to this chicken that she might defend her young from varmits
(09:35:49 PM) Me: and rise up as the mighty Celtic Warrior Chickens of Old Hibernia
(09:36:28 PM) Me: to the overthrow of mankind upon the earth
(09:37:00 PM) Me: until such time as Chickens discover the power of the atom and make lunar landings.

Quote of the Day

2007-12-18T03:14:59Z

(09:14:40 PM) Mike: what's up with you?
(09:14:45 PM) Me: I'm bored
(09:14:48 PM) Me: and lonely
(09:14:53 PM) Me: and drunk
(09:14:55 PM) Me: and horny
(09:15:02 PM) Mike: so, normal ;)
(09:15:06 PM) Me: yes

Friends

2007-12-18T02:35:51Z

I wish Felts were here. If Felts were here we would have this conversation:

(Felts): Hey, what are you drinking?
(Me): Pina Coladas Light.
(Felts): WTF? What the hell is that?
(Me): Pina Colada without the coconut or the pineapple.
(Felts): ...
(Felts): So you're drinking straight rum?
(Me): No. Yes. Maybe.
(Felts): You're a freaking idiot. *throws smelly shoe*

I miss you Felts. Seriously.

I have been thinking about this. I'm learning important life lessons here in Milwaukee.

The most important one is the value of friendship.

I always bitched about not having very many friends, or my friends never having time for me, or me never having time for them, or whatever, but they were great. Not having them around sucks.

Jay: I love you bro. Over Christmas break you've got to beat me in the head with a stick. I'm going crazy up here in the snowy wasteland of Nador with nobody to freaking hit me with sticks. OMG. Must get armor and go to CAM fighter practice.

Suzy: I love you too sis. Miss you bunches!

Felts: OMG DUDE. I never realized how reliant I was on having you around. Hey lets go to Walmart. Hey lets go get pizza. Hey dumbass quit being a fucking emo kid and lets go to class already. I'm totally lost without you man! Nobody has thrown a shoe at me in months! I knew I was used to having you around after four years, but I totally expect you to walk in here any minute to bitch about Middleton or tell me to quit being an idiot on LJ. I have booze and you're not here. It sucks!

I'm all about solitude and stuff. I love having my alone time. But I totally have to have somebody to talk to. I'm a gossipy little bitch. Ask Felts he knows. So much stupid crap goes through my head. I have to unload it on somebody. Poor hobbit got an earful over Thanksgiving.

Only a week until I get to see you folks in AR. Yay me.

When I get back to Milwaukee I have to establish some kind of social network.

Cold Sucks

2007-12-17T23:05:53Z

I have decided that cold is the absolute worst thing in the whole world. It's bad enough having to walk a mile after dark when the HIGH was 24 degrees, but when the wind is blowing 10+ mph and you're carrying a package so you can't exactly stick your hand in your pocket... YEAH.

It feels like sticking your hand in a fire. And you can't pull it out. And you're like aw hell and the pain gets worse and worse until you think...You know nothing could be worse than this.

And then you get somewhere warm and start thawing out.

When I got on the elevator I couldn't even move my hand. At all. It just wouldn't work. It was froze stiff and kinda purplish.

Oh my gods thawing that out hurt worse than anything in the world. It made that time Jay busted my knuckle and caused it to swell up the size of a walnut seem like nothing.

If God came over here right now and said hey, you get to choose whether you want to spend eternity in Wisconsin or in Hell, I'd ask him if he had an elevator.

At least Hell is warm. And you get sodomized by demons occasionally.

Avildar, who came from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (even colder than here), once told me that in the Upper Peninsula to find out how cold it is you go outside, find a deer, and grab it by the balls. If they come off in your hand it's too damn cold.

The scary part is that's actually starting to make sense to me.

In other news, if Huckabee gets elected President and they start putting all the homos in camps, I'm gonna have to go out with guns blazing because I can't run away to Canada. It's just too damn cold. I can cover the retreat or something.

EDIT: Yeah, yeah, I know. Quit whining and go buy a pair of gloves.

EDIT2: But that would require going back outside and walking a mile back to my car.

Good Night

2007-12-17T00:03:51Z

I'm drinking vodka and watching Office Space.

I forgot how much I love this movie. I love it even more now that that's my real life. Gods every day at work. Haha. Yay cubes!

EDIT: TPS reports. F@$#@%@ TPS reports. Yes. Been there done that.

EDIT2:

Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothin' dude, look at my cousin. He's broke an he don't do shit.

EDIT3:

(Peter): Every day is worse than the day before. So, every day that you see me is the worst day of my life.
(Therapist): So is today the worst day of your life?
(Peter): Yes. Yes it is.
(Therapist): Wow that's fucked up.

EDIT4:

(Old Guy): I deal with the god damn customers so that the engineers don't have to! Because I have people skills! Can't you see that!

EDIT5:

(Girl): You're just not going to work? But how are you going to pay your bills?
(Peter): I don't really like paying bills. So I don't think I'm going to do that either.

EDIT6:

(Peter): It's not that I'm lazy. I just don't care.

EDIT7:

(Peter): Human beings are not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at screens all day!

FRIDAY!

2007-12-15T00:07:46Z

I've been confused all week about what day it is, but today was Friday because we had the potluck at work. My car spent its first night in the garage. Everything went well. I got really bad lost coming home because the exit I needed to get off was closed for construction on the new interchange and likely will be longer than I'm in the city. Then there wasn't another exit until the south side Latino ghetto which is where I got lost, but it wasn't nearly as scary as getting lost in certain parts of RussVegas, like around Montgomery street. RussVegas is one of the few cities with a Redneck ghetto. Which is basically a residentially zoned trailer park inside city limits for you northern people. I did finally find the river and got across and into downtown so everything is good.

LOTs of chores to do tonight. This week has been hell. My life is so exciting. I get to do laundry and wash my dishes.

The bad thing is that I already have too many hobbies to enjoy them properly. So I'm not sure how to get a life.

By Popular Request

2007-12-13T03:03:33Z

From Pam's:

A Pagan Laments the War on Solstice - great satire of the Christian fundamentalist bleating about the War on Christmas. <3

Oh and if you didn't know The US House of Representatives passed a bill today recognizing the importance of Christmas as a Christian holiday. Glad to know they have some much free time. It's not like we're fighting any wars or anything.

Quote of the Day

2007-12-11T22:02:15Z

Adam in response to the pictures below (without missing a beat or even stopping to think about it):

"Holy shit that's a lot of coke!"

I love all you guys in Arkansas. Ya'll are always good for a laugh. =p

Pictures from the Frozen Wastes of Nador

2007-12-11T21:56:15Z

WINDOW CAM:

Knapp Street (in front of Jesse's Apartment)

The aptly named Juneau Avenue

Left down Knapp Street. Church + Snow.

Same spot, looking right. Because no pictures of Milwaukee would be complete without an Irish pub. CLARE! Yes, it's pink. Don't ask questions.

blaiddshadow @ 2007-12-11T09:02:00

2007-12-11T15:06:38Z

I don't hate Wisconsin. I don't hate snow.

I hate the parking situation on the East Side. Hate. Capitol H.

I've been trying to get my car out since 6:30 and it's now 9:00. They're locking the gate at work as we speak.

I'm not only snowed in, I'm also blocked in. I could probably get out, but I have to go forward and backwards a few times and squeeze out. And I can't because of the snow. It's hard enough to go forwards or backwards at all, much less a couple feet at a time. I ruined my parallel parking record by bumping the car in front of me at least twice, but it wasn't really my fault because I have practically no control over the car when its thrashing around in the slush.

I hate East Side parking. Hate it.

If I don't go into work today and I do manage to get my car out, I'm going over to that garage. Bastards are only open from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. Like, what? I don't think anyone in this city actually has a job but me. There are way too many people just roaming the streets this morning at 9:00 AM.